


The Measure of the Man

by myownspecialself



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-19
Updated: 2002-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:25:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownspecialself/pseuds/myownspecialself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A smut-fic featuring the Clex and their hammock in the hayloft. Curious Clark is obsessed with statistics. ("Clark! Put the damn ruler down.")</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Measure of the Man

## The Measure of the Man

by myownspecialself

[]()

* * *

The Measure of the Man  
By myownspecialself 

October 2002 

**NOTES/ACKNOWLEDGMENTS**

Warning: NC-17! This is mindless Clex smut-- from the first paragraph to the last-- with absolutely no redeeming social or artistic value. 

Disclaimers: We all know the guys aren't mine. No infringement is intended. 

Feedback: Always welcome at myownspecialself@yahoo.com 

Thanks to gospodarek for lifting me out of the depths of illiteracy by fixing verbs and re-acquainting me with punctuation. Thanks also to GothPhyle for additional beta help, a sanity check, and encouragement. (I have to admit: It's always better with betas!) And most of all, mega-thanks and a big hug to philtre for holding aloft the smut-fic torch, for keeping me in line and on track, and for helping the Clex with their orgasms. 

For the importance of thinking big, a tip of the hat to Wileykit's "Are you busy tonight?" and to Kitty Fisher's "Lure" and "Boys! Raise Giant Mushrooms in Your Cellar!". Plus a special salute to Sarah T.'s "The Scientific Method" for pointing out the value of proper, um, scientific-research techniques. 

* * *

"Lex, I'm telling you," Clark said, "I think you're going to be sorry." He shook his head and glanced around the hayloft before moving to stand in front of the kneeling figure. Idly fingering the fly of his jeans, he looked down at Lex. 

He unzipped halfway and stopped. Lex's eyes widened with anticipation and he reached out an eager hand to help Clark finish unzipping. "No-o-o, Lex." Clark swatted playfully at the hand. "I didn't give you permission to touch it." 

Lex sat back on his haunches and bit his lower lip. Clark knew Lex was still too proud to beg, but at least he kept expectant eyes trained upward on Clark's face. He made Lex wait for what he hoped was a suitable period while his eyes held the hungry gaze. Finally-- 

" _Now_ you may touch. Unbutton me, Lex. Slowly. Pants first." 

Clark's cock jumped as Lex leaned forward on his knees and caught the zipper with his teeth. He watched breathlessly as Lex pulled the zipper down with a yank of his head. 

Clark closed his eyes. Felt his jeans loosen slightly as they were unbuttoned by deft fingers that began to tremble by the time they hooked under the waistband of his boxers. He heard Lex take a quick, deep breath and knew that Lex was about to yank everything down. Clark's eyes flew open and he grabbed Lex's wrists. 

"Lex," Clark said quietly. Lex froze. "You need to learn to follow instructions. _Slowly_. The pants first, all the way down. _Then_ the underwear." He released Lex's hands. 

"Good boy," Clark said, when both jeans and boxers were down around his ankles. Lex leaned back to admire the view for a moment and then moved in closer. Clark placed a restraining hand on Lex's forehead. Keeping his hand on the smooth-skinned scalp to steady himself, he used the other hand to quickly remove his shoes and socks. Next, he freed his ankles of the jeans and boxers and kicked them to one side. He shucked off his T-shirt, rolled it into a ball, and lobbed it onto a pile of hay bales behind Lex. 

Clark looked down and regarded his stiffening length for a few seconds. He smiled at his lover. "Take off your shirt." He drank in the sight of Lex's bare torso and his cock stiffened some more. He looked again at his crotch and then nodded to the bald young man. "Help yourself." 

Lex eagerly scrambled forward on his knees to nuzzle the head of the semi-erect cock. Clark jerked sharply at the contact and hissed. Through a thickening haze of pleasure he saw how Lex caught the foreskin with his teeth, gently shaking his head to arouse Clark. He felt the surge of power to his cock, felt himself grow, and he didn't bother to hold back the groan that welled up in his throat. 

In a matter of seconds, Clark was completely hard and Lex opened his mouth to receive his lover. Lex's eyes turned slightly glassy as Clark began to gently rock into the warm, moist eagerness. He heard a muffled groan and felt another surge of blood flow to his cock when Lex wrapped his tongue around the head. With unfocused eyes, Lex stared at him as he took in more of Clark's cock and tightened his lips-- and swallowed deeply, almost choking. 

"Take it easy, Lex," Clark gasped. "A little at a time. Start off with ten inches--" he said, ramming into Lex's mouth to make his point, "--and then, if you're a good boy, I'll let you have the rest." 

He caught the oh-please-get-real look that Lex threw him and bit his lower lip to keep from laughing. He knew Lex would rather do without Clark's improvised porn-flick babble, _but hey, it's my blowjob and I'll say it if I want to_ , Clark told himself. 

He cried out suddenly and a shudder of pain-pleasure rattled through him: Lex was torturing him with little nips of his sharp teeth. "Play nice, Lex," Clark admonished, "Or I zip it up right now." It was an idle threat and Lex knew it. Clark knew it, too, when Lex started to drag his tongue over the ridge on the underside and Clark saw stars. 

"Oh..." Clark threw his head back. Now Lex was slurping obscenely, and the noises made Clark's groin freeze and burn at the same time. Between each movement of Lex's head his cock throbbed so hard, it almost hurt. He grunted his approval. "God, Lex. Your mouth." 

When he looked again, Clark noticed that Lex had closed his eyes. His hands were buried in his crotch so that he could slowly massage his own cock. "Lex!" Clark barked hoarsely. Lex's eyes snapped open and Clark saw a flicker of guilt. "I don't recall giving you permission to touch yourself." 

Lex's expression showed that he understood his transgression-- and didn't give a damn. Lex narrowed his eyes and tightened his lips, tugging his head backward in an effort to distract his tormentor. It almost worked: Clark let loose a low squawk and shivered, but his eyes stayed on Lex's disobedient hands. 

"Le-e-e-x," Clark said in a warning tone. He smiled to himself when Lex slowly-- resentfully-- removed his hands from his crotch, never letting up on Clark's cock. 

He could tell when the realization dawned on Lex that Clark was approaching the edge. Lex moaned loudly and moved faster when he sensed the difference in Clark's pre-cum, as if tasting the increasing urgency. Clark, in an attempt to slow Lex's frantic rhythm, started to pump his hips slowly and deliberately, lengthening the strokes that took him into Lex's mouth, each stroke a little deeper than the last as he sought to reach the center of Lex's being. A dull roar started to build inside his head and he knew that any second now... 

He caught Lex's stare. Knew that Lex was scanning his face, trying to gauge the timing of Clark's orgasm. Clark was damned if he was going to give Lex much warning and desperately not wanting to, he shoved violently into the wet, voracious softness to get Lex's attention. "Lex. Slow down," he snarled. "I'm in charge here. I'll decide when it's time to come." 

Annoyance washed over Clark when he saw Lex's glance of ill-concealed amusement. Lex drew back slightly to concentrate on the head of his cock, and Clark began to feel indignation growing as Lex mercilessly dragged him to the edge of the precipice. Suddenly, brutally, Lex thrust his face forward and just-- swallowed. Hard. Noisily. Gulping Clark all the way down. Clark growled as Lex's throat squeezed and spasmed around him, making him jerk and -- fuck!-- tumble over the edge. 

Bellowing his rage, Clark came, and as he pulsed and spurted down Lex's throat, he knew Lex had won this round. _I've got you. Right where I want you._ Lex's smiling eyes looked up, mocking him, but Clark barely noticed: he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe, his knees were melting, and it took all his strength to remain standing. 

Lex threw his arms around Clark's waist to hold him upright and even though the orgasm had passed, he kept Clark deeply in his throat, his nose jammed almost painfully into the flat navel. Stunned, fascinated, maybe even horrified, Clark watched as Lex continued to swallow and guzzle, leaning forward so that his throat stayed fully plugged by Clark's cock. His chest still heaving, Clark saw the triumph blazing in Lex's eyes and decided he had to wipe that smirk off Lex's face. 

He gave Lex what he hoped was his meanest, most wolf-like smile. Lex answered him with a smile so condescending it made him feel like a puppy. Stung, Clark tried for a harsh, deep tone and said, "Lex. Your mouth... You. Are. So. Hot." Then grudgingly, "You're a great cocksucker. I think I'll keep you, Lex." He felt a flush of triumph at the how-dare-you glare. When Lex drew Clark's cock out of his mouth to offer a retort, Clark said, "Shut up. I'm not done yet." 

He cupped big hands around Lex's head so that Lex couldn't move backwards. He slowly guided himself back into Lex's mouth. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm still hard." He looked down at Lex and chuckled at the disbelief in Lex's eyes. Disbelief that for a moment changed to something resembling genuine surprise when Clark suddenly thrust his hips forward and his cockhead poked the back of Lex's throat, making Lex gag. 

"Take care of this, Lex," Clark commanded. He thrust his hips forward yet again and Lex moved backwards several inches on his knees to keep from coughing. He watched as Lex gently slid his mouth up and down Clark's highly-sensitized shaft as if to confirm to himself Clark's perpetual arousal. 

"Believe it, Lex," Clark said, grinning between soft gasps. He took a step forward and encountered the back of Lex's throat again. Lex gagged slightly but he didn't take his mouth off Clark's cock; instead he glared at Clark and moved backward on his knees again. 

"Lex. Underneath," Clark ordered. Lex licked a vein on the underside of Clark's cock and Clark choked out a loud groan. Next, Lex swiped his tongue around Clark's balls and was rewarded with a sharp hiss. Suddenly realizing he was dangerously close to coming, Clark panicked and yanked himself out of Lex's mouth. He moaned at the lewd _pop_ Lex's lips made as they clung greedily to Clark's cock before letting go. 

"You give up?" Catching the mocking tone in Lex's voice, Clark bristled and resolved to show Lex that not only was he still in the game-- he intended to win this time. 

He nonchalantly placed both hands on Lex's head to immobilize it and then quickly resumed his position, his erection directly in front of Lex's half-open lips. "I don't want you to get tired. Why don't you scoot back a little and sit," Clark said, feigning concern. Lex eyed Clark suspiciously, but he moved backwards on his knees. Clark moved forward even faster and plunged in, scraping the wiry hairs below his belly against Lex's nose. He watched with reluctant admiration as Lex managed to not choke, saw how Lex fought the urge to gag. Lex moved back a few inches and shifted on his legs to change from a kneeling to a sitting position and-- 

His eyes widened when he realized his back was jammed against the stack of hay bales. "I've got you, Lex. Right where I want you." Clark smiled at him. "Now open wide. I'm going to fuck you hard. Past your tonsils. All the way down to your lungs." 

Even as his eyes screamed mute objections to Clark's outrageous agenda, Lex opened up. Once again inside Lex's mouth, Clark noted how quickly the flames of rebellion died down as Lex began to stroke Clark's cock with his tongue. When his cock twitched involuntarily and struck the roof of Lex's mouth, Lex moaned and the humming vibrations drove Clark wild. "Come on, Lex, show me what you can do," he gasped. And Lex did. 

Lex's head was now bobbing relentlessly and Clark became aware that once again it was Lex who was leading this dance. "Oh no," he whispered, gritting his teeth against the rapidly mounting pleasure. Clark grabbed Lex's head, forcing him-- with mouth full-- to stop and look him in the eyes. He savored the sound of Lex breathing furiously through his nose. 

Leaning his hands against the hay bales, Clark allowed Lex a look of fondness as he murmured, "Have I ever told you that you have beautiful, cocksucker lips?" He went wild from the physical sensation of the vibrations caused when Lex nodded a sonorous, muffled "uh-huh". Groaning, Clark thrust forward again until he had Lex's head pinned against the hay bales. 

Clark slid his hands over his own torso and when he reached the nipples, he tweaked them viciously. He shuddered and gasped as bolts of pleasure shot through him down to his cock, which-- incredibly-- stiffened and grew even more as it jerked. He bit back a laugh when he saw Lex's eyes widen with consternation upon suddenly finding more farmboy in his mouth than he could handle. Then before Lex even knew it, Clark had his ears in a vicious grip as he proceeded to fuck Lex's mouth in earnest. 

A moan escaped from Clark's lips as he moved his hips back and forth. "Lex." The pleasure spread and combusted inside Clark and he felt the pressure build in his groin when Lex's mouth finally adapted to the new rhythm. He cried out when Lex's lips tightened around his cock and he thrust faster, harder, shoving the back of Lex's head rhythmically against the rough scratchiness of the hay bales. 

"Lex, " he muttered in awe. "Lex," he whispered, as if praying. He released Lex's ears and braced his arms on the hay bales in front of him. His hips kept churning as the pleasure grew. Above the harsh scraping of air rushing in and out of his own lungs, Clark heard a moan echoing as if from some distant galaxy; it was Lex, ecstatically awaiting Clark's orgasm. And now, even as he stared into Lex's eyes and burrowed into Lex's throat, Clark no longer saw Lex and he didn't notice when Lex's arms went around his waist. 

Clark dimly realized he wasn't going to control this orgasm any more than he did the first, and now he didn't care anymore. He lunged forward one last time into Lex's face, his lower body slamming Lex against the bales. The jolt of pleasure exploded inside him, unleashing a white-hot nova that blazed through him and flooded every corner of his universe. Just before the light dissolved in a huge blinding flash, he managed to gasp his lover's name one last time. And then there was nothing but a deep, dark void. 

When the blackness started to recede, Clark understood that he had begun to exist again. His sight returned, and he found himself gazing at the beams of the loft rafters. He became aware of a soft whimpering. It took him a few seconds to realize the noises were coming from his own throat. 

"Clark." 

He looked down. Saw Lex with arms still wrapped around his waist. Lex was watching him. He looked different without Clark in his mouth. 

"Hey, Lex," he said softly, as if seeing his lover for the first time today. He pulled Lex to a standing position. Lex leaned forward to kiss him. 

"No, let _me_ ," Clark pleaded softly. He nibbled lightly at Lex's upper lip. He felt how Lex's arm moved rhythmically and knew that Lex was stroking himself. Gently cupping Lex's head with one hand he placed his lips over Lex's and pressed forward. 

The kiss deepened. Clark felt Lex push his lips harder against his own and knew that Lex was planning an uprising. He played along and opened his mouth as if to receive Lex's tongue and sure enough, a tongue tip moved aggressively into his mouth. Quickly Clark pressed his lips more tightly against Lex's and sucked softly on the tip of Lex's tongue, inviting the invader to advance. Lex moaned and pushed his tongue farther in to Clark's mouth, seduced by the gentle, insistent suction. 

When he felt Lex relax, Clark rammed his thick tongue forward and shoved Lex's startled tongue aside. He ignored Lex's muffled squeal of surprise and rapidly drew his tongue back and thrust again into Lex's mouth, this time harder. Again he drew back his tongue and again he thrust. Lex groaned and stroked himself harder as Clark tongue-fucked his lover's mouth again and again and faster and faster... careful to stay always under the super-speed barrier. 

_Lex_ , Clark's mind sang out, knowing that Lex somehow heard him. _You-- and only you._ He continued to tongue-fuck Lex's mouth so that Lex had no choice but to keep stroking himself. Clark listened to the moans as they increased in frequency and intensity and when the time was right, he pulled back and broke the lip-lock. 

He laughed softly, delighted at how Lex's low wail was choked off by hungry, frustrated gasps, at how Lex leaned forward in search of Clark's mouth. Clark placed a hand on Lex's chest while Lex's hand furiously pumped. Lex looked so damn hot, so sexy, as he beat off and Clark's heart was close to bursting as he said what Lex needed to hear. 

"Come for me, Lex. _Now_." Grasping each of Lex's erect nipples, he pulled. 

Lex threw his head back and howled. Clark quickly knelt. He took Lex in his mouth and greedily drank Lex's orgasm, trying to reclaim every drop of what Lex ruthlessly had taken from him just a few minutes ago. Now it was Clark's turn to thrust his head forward and try to imprint his face on Lex's flat stomach, to muffle his needy moans and try not to gag as he fucked his throat on Lex's pulsating cock. 

* * *

**EPILOGUE**  
(Ten minutes later) 

"Clark?" 

"Yeah?" He shifts in the hammock to face Lex. He strokes Lex's cheek. 

"You're too much. Did I ever tell you?" 

"No, but I'm flattered you think so." He pecks Lex lightly on the lips and traces the scar with a fingertip. 

"I mean, you force me to suck you off _twice_ in a row, and on top of that, you verbally abuse me and push me around." He glares at Clark in mock outrage. "Then, adding insult to injury, you nearly give me a concussion by pounding the back of my head against some bales of hay." Lex touches the back of his head and Clark sees him wince. 

"I'm really sorry about the bales, Lex." He gives Lex an apologetic kiss. "It's the best I could do on the spur of the moment." He smiles sweetly at Lex. "Next time you're sucking me off I'll be sure to back you up against a brick wall." 

"Smart-ass brat," Lex growls. He reaches out of the hammock and picks up his bottle of water from the floor. 

"Clark, correct me if I'm wrong." Lex takes a quick sip. Lets a couple of seconds pass. "Did I actually hear you say something about your. Ten. Inches?" 

"Um. Yeah." Clark smiles sheepishly. "I guess so." 

"Ten inches, Clark? _Ten_?" Lex tries to hide his smirk, but Clark knows it's there. Can hear it in Lex's voice. 

"What's the problem, Lex? It's just a fantasy. You know." Clark avoids Lex's eyes. "A lot of guys-- straight and gay-- have fantasies about being well-endowed." He knows Lex is enjoying this. 

"And after your first ten inches, Clark, how many more were you going to force me take?" Clark catches the odd face that Lex makes and he realizes Lex is biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. "Just exactly how _lengthy_ are you in these fantasies?" 

"Oh, I don't know, Lex." Clark pauses. "Look ... it's just fantasy stuff. It's really about letting your imagination run wild. About spicing things up during sex." He shrugs. "And ten sounded like a good number at the time." He throws Lex a glare of mock defiance and looks away. "Besides," he mutters, "it's not like _you_ ever had a reason to feel inadequate." 

"What do you mean?" Lex takes a long swig from the bottle. 

"Well, just look at you. You know, when you wear tight pants, it's obvious that... uh..." As he searches for the words, Clark watches Lex take another gulp of water. He takes a deep breath and blurts it out. 

"If mini-Lex were any bigger, you'd be a human tripod." Clark turns his head, as much to avoid the water spraying from Lex's mouth as to keep Lex from seeing the impish grin that plays across his lips. He turns back and thumps Lex on the back until the splutters and coughs die down. 

"Goddammit, Clark... you almost killed me," Lex says when he recovers his voice. 

"Sorry, Lex. But it's true." He grins at Lex. "Go ahead and take another sip. I'll keep quiet." 

It's Clark's turn to bite the inside of his cheek when Lex regards him with narrowed eyes and shakes his head at Clark in amazement. "That does it. I'm not letting you watch any more porn-- gay or straight. All those damn videos and DVDs... That's where you get those crazy ideas..." 

He grasps Clark's chin and turns his face to look into Clark's eyes. In a quiet voice he says, "You _do_ understand that the length-- the size of my lover's genitals-- is not an issue with me, right? So don't be so insecure." 

"I don't feel insecure, Lex. And yes, I know length is not an issue with you. I mean, just now you made me come twice. And you came, too." Clark rolls over on top of Lex to grind their crotches together and the hammock sways wildly. "My guess is we were both pretty happy with the, uh, equipment that was available." 

"Yes, indeed." Lex sighs contentedly. "And you know that I'm with you because I love you. Not because of the dimensions of any of your body parts." Lex kisses Clark lightly on the lips to emphasize his point. "Six inches is supposedly the average... You're bigger than that, anyway." He runs a hand across Clark's broad chest and shivers delightedly. "You don't need ten inches. You're already too damn hot and sexy." He arches a stern eyebrow at Clark. "So stop worrying about size, and get a grip--" 

''--great choice of words, Lex." Clark snickers. Lex tries to glower at Clark and fails. He falls silent, idly stroking Clark's hair. 

"Um, Lex?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Now I'm curious." 

"About?" Clark hears the uh-oh tone in Lex's voice and bites his tongue to keep from smiling. 

"About your length." Clark looks innocently at Lex. "Your dick." 

"My _dick_? Clark, let's drop the subject right now--" 

"--No, Lex, I want to know," Clark whines. He starts to pout and catches himself in time. "So, just exactly how big is mini-Lex?" 

"Clark, I don't want to discuss my genitalia any more. And my penis doesn't have a name, okay? Besides, I don't know." 

"You don't know? Haven't you ever measured it?" 

"What?! Clark, excuse me, but I have a life. If I'm going to spend my time with measurements and numbers, it's going to be for spreadsheets and other LexCorp matters. Not for calculating dick data." 

"So you've never measured it..." Clark's expression turns thoughtful as he looks across the loft towards his desk. 

"No, never. Now drop the subject. It's-- Hey! Where are you going?" 

"I want to measure it," Clark wheedles as he climbs out of the hammock and pads across the loft floor to his desk. He grabs a metal ruler and turns around to face Lex. "Ready?" He waves the ruler in the general direction of Lex's crotch. 

"Clark, I want to go on record as saying that in a relationship there are other things that are truly more important--" 

"--Hey, spare me the lecture. I swear to God, you're turning into Dad, right before my eyes." Clark grins at Lex's indignation. A second later, his face crumples into a grimace. "Eew. I just grossed myself out." He clears his throat. "Anyway, Lex, the facts are these: You're hung like a--" 

"--Clark, will you change the subject already?! You're really starting to weird me out--." 

"--Lex, all I want to do is measure it. I want to know how much I'm contending with here." He brandishes the ruler. "C'mon. This won't hurt at all." 

Lex shoots Clark his don't-fuck-with-me glare. "I'm only going to say it once, you obnoxious space brat: you are _not_ going to measure me." Pause. "Clark! Put the damn ruler down." 

Ignoring Lex's command, Clark pensively taps a finger to his lips as he approaches the hammock. "Hm." He furrows his brow. 

"What?" Lex's tone indicates he doesn't want to know, but he can't help asking anyway. 

"We need to prep you before we can continue with the experiment." Clark kneels next to the hammock and ostentatiously licks his lips. 

Oh. Clark sees that Lex gets it. "Well, I like how you think, Clark. But why don't we just stick to the prep work and to hell with measur-- Holy shit!" Lex nearly jumps out of his skin. "Clark!" 

"Mmmph?" 

"Oh! Yeah--" Lex knows that he doesn't stand a chance against Clark's rapid-speed tongue, which is diligently memorizing every cell, every nerve in Lex's cock. "Oh... Clark!" 

"Mmmph." 

"Uh! Clark! Stop for a moment." Panting, Lex pushes Clark away and shifts in the hammock to sit up. "I don't want to come yet." 

"Mmm. Okay. Now's the perfect time to measure it anyway." Clark wipes the back of a hand across his lips. Still on his knees, he reaches towards Lex's crotch. 

"Ouch! Don't grab!" Lex slaps at Clark's hand. Clark bats Lex's hand away. 

"Hold still." He pushes Lex down into the hammock and strong-arms him into a horizontal position. He puts the ruler along Lex's stiffened length. 

"Augh!" Lex screams, flinching violently. "Jesus, that metal's _cold_!" 

"Lex. Hold. Still.." Clark squints at the ruler as he holds it against Lex's erection. "Wow. Seven inches. And three-fourths. No, wait... Seven-eighths!" He looks up and grins. 

"Clark, I don't like that smile on your face--" 

"--Shut up. I just want to satisfy my scientific curiosity. Let's try an experiment here. Don't move..." Clark leans down to Lex's left nipple and assaults it with his tongue. 

"Oh, yeah!" Lex moans and by the way he arches back, Clark knows that Lex has decided that he likes playing lab rat. "Yeah, like that. Yeah. Now do the other one, Clark." 

"Mmm-hmm." Clark replies agreeably, and switches to the right nipple. He jackhammers it with his tongue. 

"Jesus! Oh!" 

"Okay. Now let's see what we've got here..." Clark's tone becomes businesslike as he moves back down to Lex's cock with the ruler. He ignores the yelp when the cold metal again makes contact with the hard-on. His face lights up. "Damn, Lex! Eight and one-sixteenth!" 

Still giddy from the pleasurable sensations radiating from his nipples, Lex shakes his head. "All right, Clark. Knock it off and get back in the hammock. This silliness. Has. Gone. On. Long. Enough--" Clark leaps at the chance to make Lex regret his choice of words. 

"--'Long enough'? I'd certainly say it is." Heh. Clark just cracks himself up. He stops chuckling and moves forward on his knees to whisper in Lex's ear. "You know, Lex," he says in his most confidential tone, "Eight and one-sixteenth inches is equivalent to about 205 millimeters. Two. Oh. Five." 

He watches with amusement as Lex move his lips and checks Clark's math in his head. A malicious smile flashes across his face and he reaches out and gives Lex a playful tug-- 

"Hey! Careful with that! I'm not some goddamn cow you're trying to milk, you know!" 

"Maybe not, Mr. Two-Oh-Five, but I'm trying for the same basic results as when I milk the cows." He tugs again and doesn't let go. 

"Ouch! Don't call me that," Lex grumbles. "Let go, you overgrown space monkey!" He clenches his teeth. "Get back in this hammock. Now." 

Clark climbs back in. "You know, Lex, I'm starting to see you in a different light now." He starts to massage Lex's cock, gently, adoringly, with both hands. 

"A different light? What do you-- Oh, God... Clark..." 

"Yeah, you know... like now, if someone calls you a _big_ man around town, it's not going to be easy to keep from laughing..." Clark tilts his head. "Or if someone says, "That Lex Luthor sure is a _cocky_ fellow..." Clark snickers at his own wit and continues to stroke Lex's cock. 

"Oh, Clark... Yes, do it like that..." 

"Feel good, Lex?" 

"Y-yeah... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah-- Hey! Why are you stopping?!" 

Clark turns to Lex, eyes full of mischief. "Lex, it just dawned on me. Your abnormal, um, attribute seems fairly atypical of human males here on Earth. I can't help but wonder if maybe _you_ aren't from another planet." 

"Another _planet_?!" Wide-eyed, Lex sits up too quickly and nearly tumbles out of the hammock. "Clark, what are you babbling about? Show some consideration and finish the handjob!" 

"Yep." Clark giggles, ignoring how Lex's cock tries to get his attention. "Maybe _you're_ the alien." 

"Clark, stop talking nonsense. Jesus. I hate it when you get so goofy after sex. Now finish what you started or--" 

"--And I think I can guess what planet you came from, Lex." 

"What _planet_ I came from?!" 

"Yeah, Lex." Clark takes Lex's cock and hefts the gently throbbing fullness in the palm of his hand. He leers. "We're talking Planet of the Donkeys here." 

End~ 


End file.
